Cause to Pause

Reflections On Our Life in Jesus Christ

Today’s Bible Reading (from Deuteronomy 19-21; Mark 13:21-37
Friday’s: Deuteronomy 22-24; Mark 14:1-26
Saturday’s: Deut. 25-27; Mk. 14:27-53
Sunday’s: Deut. 28-29; Mk. 14:54-72
Monday’s: Deut. 30-31; Mark 15:1-25

Dr. John Gottman (b.1946) is professor emeritus of psychology at the University of Washington. In 2007, he was recognized as one of the 10 most influential therapists of the past quarter century. He studied thousands of couples over decades and concluded that couples that consistently practice the Golden Rule (Matthew 7:12) are more likely to stay together than couples that don’t. His research shows that compatibility doesn’t necessarily determine whether a couple will stay together. More importantly, a couple must avoid what Gottman calls the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. This winner of the Distinguished Scientist Award from the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists says, “Amazingly, we have found that it all comes down to a simple mathematical formula. No matter what style your marriage follows, you must have at least five times as many positive as negative moments if your marriage is going to be stable.” Gottman asserts, “When marriages lose that 5 to 1 ratio, negativity builds with increasingly damaging results.”[1]

Best regards,
Mark Dillman
Minister, Airport Rd. Church of Christ

[1] Positive Living, March/April 1998, pg. 25.